I am married to someone who suffered from PTSD. It was a soul destroying experience, continually being shouted at out of the blue and being blamed for his aggression. I ended up doubting myself, believing that I really was at fault and this transferred into my ‘other’ life. The more his behaviour continued the less able I was to separate my home life from my work life. He was only violent physically once but I know from having met other partners of PTSD that I was lucky. He was terribly controlling, always seeing things that weren’t there, accusing me of having affairs, wouldn’t want me to see friends on my own.

On the flip side he was desperately social it was exhausting to come home from a week at work to find the house stuffed full of people and a full on party underway. With hind sight all the ex-military guests were going through exactly the same thing as my husband; sticking to people that didn’t mind if they ‘went off on one’ or suddenly burst into tears between the boys, hidden by alchohol the most bizarre behaviour went unnoticed and uncommented.